


it didn't come easy, i'm glad it was hard

by artemidos



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: F/M, post-amaru, teensy tiny bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:37:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemidos/pseuds/artemidos
Summary: deep down, i knew. no matter what in the end, it'd be me and you. (a.k.a. when they save kate)





	it didn't come easy, i'm glad it was hard

**Author's Note:**

> blame not only savanah for this, but blame donald because he said that saving her was saving a part of himself and now i wish i was dead.

There was a moment between the end and the beginning that Kate couldn’t remember.

He had described it to her, but she couldn’t even recall the thud of her body hitting the ground, dropping from her knees onto her side. Collapsed into the dirt, the dust rose from where she had stirred it with her limp limbs. It covered her for a moment, hiding her from him, but he cut through it, tall and in all black, ignoring the voices behind him. They were a wall of people wanting to hold him back, to wait. But he _knew_. He knew that girl curled into herself, weak and tired, body used and broken, heart slashed to pieces. That was Kate, as much as he fucking hated all the things Amaru had made her.

On his knees, he turned her over. At first her breathing was so shallow he couldn’t be sure she wasn’t already gone. As out of it as she was, she could remember from there, his hand at the back of her head, the other helping to lift her up into his arms as he leaned back.

Aching and exhausted, she could only open her eyes marginally before she had to shut them again, his voice drifting in and out of her head.

“Kate…” _Seth_. Her lips almost turned up into a smile. He had fought for her, she had watched through her eyes, she had seen them all fight. Not just to sto[ of the woman who snatched her body from her, but to _save_ her. “Kate, hey…”

Maybe if she was completely conscious she’d swoon.

Again, she tried to open her eyes, but it was difficult not to just shut them again. She could barely hold herself up.

She could feel him pushing the hair from her face, the red now dark and faded, covered with dirt like the clothing she wore. The outfit was now cold and restrictive and she felt as trapped in it as she had in her body. Kate didn’t know that she ever wanted to wear leather again and she wished someone would rip the necklace from her neck.

Slowly, she had been feeling herself come to, the world rushing back to her. She wondered why no one else was with them. It was just Seth, looking down at her and desperate, repeating her name over and over again. She tried to sit up a little more and immediately came to regret it, her body falling back, but he held her steady.

“Kate…. Baby, please…. Just – _fuck_ \- don’t push it. I got you, alright?” His voice was so gruff, so stressed, she was so focused on his tone that for a moment she didn’t realise what he’d called her.

It took all of her strength to force her mouth open, her throat sore from the voice she’d been speaking with that was not hers. At first all that would come out was a quiet croak, but she persevered. “What…” She hadn’t even realised her eyes were open now. Above her, Seth stared down and cradled her head, so kind it might have alarmed the girl she used to be – but then she’d thought about all the other times his hands were on her. Always protecting her. “What did…” She let out a long, shaky breath. “–you just call me?”

The response she got was a moment of lamentation, like he hadn’t even realised what had come out of his mouth. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure what else to say either. This thing between them, it was unspoken for the most part, held between all the things left unsaid and the regrets they had.

Even with a second chance, they couldn’t seem to just give in.

It would have to come later.

“Come on, let’s get the fuck out of here.” She managed a smile at that and pressed herself into him as he picked her up. He was warm, and she realised now that the hands on her were bare. He’d taken off his gloves. It was a strange thing, to feel safe… To feel saved. HIs footfalls were soothing, and quicker than she’d intended to she fell asleep against him, even before she made it to the car.

-

Kate woke up startled, someone’s hands interlocking her wrists as she yelled. Her forehead was drenched with sweat, hair hanging in her face as she breathed heavily. Her chest heaved as she tried to steady her breathing. Her throat was dry. Exhaling as she calmed, she turned her head, a little surprised to see Richie beside her, loosening his grip on her wrists.

“Kate?”

It was as if he was still hesitant, and she didn’t blame him. Watching the things she had put him through, that was enough to feel no bitterness towards him, only pity. She had seen things she never wanted to see.

“Hi, Richie.” Her voice was a lot softer than his, happy although she felt like she was on the verge of tears. “Where’s–?”

Turning her head, she met Seth’s eyes in the rear-view mirror, but he focused on the road again after a few moments and she had to look at the brother who hadn’t yet let up on her wrists.

“I’m sorry.” She said, and he frowned, releasing her wrists gently. Lifting a hand to wipe at her eyes, she tried to move over but continued to lean against the younger Gecko brother. Facing forward now, she could see that Scott was there too, slouched in the passenger seat. She didn’t know what time it was, or how long it had been since she’d become herself again. Having control of her body after being outside of it so long was a strange experience. There were small, sharp moments where she felt like she still didn’t have control, and even watching herself move her fingers was jarring. She tried to focus on just getting through every moment. There would be plenty of time to contemplate later.

“Why are you saying sorry?” Richie asked, and as she turned to look at him again, feeling strange seeing all of the people once so important to her together, content. It was heart-warming to say the least.

Considering it for a moment, she answered. “I don’t know.”

“This is weird, huh?”

Using both of her hands to push her dirty hair back, she nodded, chuckling to herself. She was still processing who she was now, this girl who had watched herself hurt those she loved. Of course Kate had wanted revenge, at first. Maybe that was why Amaru took her, rather than just it being the easiest option. She had been so pure before death had filled her up with hatred, and then she had to watch as all of that hatred was inflicted tenfold. All the love left in her heart struggled to break free and was used against her, a weapon for a queen’s destruction, something she had never wanted.

Attempting a smile despite her sadness, she took a shaky breath.

“I told you I hope you’d burn in hell.”

This time he smiled, and she pressed her face into his shoulder. “I deserved it.”

Kate wasn’t sure how to respond, shaking her head as she turned to lean her head on his suit-clad shoulder, his mouth quirked up at the side. If this was forgiveness, she would take it. If this was an apology, she’d take that too.

“We all fucking did.” Seth spoke up from the driver’s seat.

His voice stirred Scott who sat up and turned around so fast that an involuntarily giggle left Kate’s mouth. It had been so long since she’d been able to do that, and it made her brother’s face light up. She wanted to hug him, but she resigned herself to waiting, reaching for his hand. He reached over the seat to her and as they held hands he squeezed hers.

It was hard to find the words to express how they felt, so for the most part they stayed quiet before he let her go and she rested against Richie. Taking long, shaky breaths, she fell asleep again wondering if they were going home, and if so where that happened to be. She wondered if it would take days before her body was physically back to the way it was.  Maybe it would be longer, but she could wait. As long as things would be okay.

-

The next time she woke up, she was in a bed. The blanket so gently placed over her was knocked onto the ground and the sweat and dirt still remained on her skin, clothing and hair. She knew it wasn’t like they could shower her, but it made her skin crawl to feel so dirty. Undoing the jacket she wore, she let it drop to the bed as she crawled off it.

She was beginning to feel antsy and she wasn’t sure as to why until she realised how quiet it was. Feeling so anxious about being alone – that was new, especially considering being alone was so new to her now.

She began to walk to the door, but within a few steps Seth walked in, a few towels stacked in his arms.

“Hey. I just went to… We didn’t leave you here or anything.”

He seemed so awkward, it made her smile. In response, he looked unsure and then turned, walking towards the nearest surface to put them down.

“Hi.” Sounding meek, she cleared her throat. It wasn’t as bad as the first time. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Shit, I don’t know, twelve… thirteen hours?” He scratched the back of his head.

“Great. Now I feel even grosser.”

“Shower’s through that door.” He pointed and seeing it now Kate wondered how she’d missed it at all. Maybe she just really wanted to see someone. Maybe she just really wanted to see Seth.

She walked towards the towels, but he picked them up and held them out to her. Taking them from him, her hands brushed his and she met his eyes, watching him with sincerity she hadn’t been able to manage when she was out of it. He couldn’t seem to return it, eyes searching her face for something she couldn’t comprehend.

“I’ll leave you to your shower.” He turned away and she remembered how unnerving it was to be alone, to think about the woman who had mocked her, who _would_ mock her for what she was about to do.

“Seth?” The towels now tucked underneath one arm, she reached for his hand. Gaze drifting up his arm, for a moment her heart stopped when she released the scratch marks along it. Winding down to his wrists, the thought of her hands doing that made them feel foreign and numb. Kate felt like she was going to pass out.

“Yeah?” It looked like it physically pained him to look at her, and then he saw what she was looking at, tugging at his shirt sleeve but it didn’t do much to cover up the marks left on his tanned skin. “It’s fine, kid. Don’t worry about it.”

“I hurt you.” She insisted, not letting up. Her voice was strained.

“I can take some scratches.”

“Can I look at them?”

The question threw him off and it took a moment for him to relent, pulling the fabric back up his arm and turning it so the scratches were more visible. Shaky fingers ran over the skin, the towels long ago having dropped to her bare feet. Her face was mingled with fear at the girl who would do this to him. She’d already hurt him enough. Lifting his arm, she bowed her head down, and thanked god that he didn’t stop her when she pressed her lips against his skin. Pulling away slowly, she didn’t let go of his hand and mulled over the words for a moment before she practically choked them out. “Can you stay?”

“I thought you were showering.” Her cheeks warmed. Kate didn’t know what she expected him to say, even after what had happened less than a day earlier.

“It has a curtain, doesn’t it?” She tried to smile, explaining. “I just don’t want to be alone, I guess.”

“Yeah… Okay.” He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest, Kate having dropped the one she was holding to pick up her towels.

She led the way, stepping into the shower, giving him a look as he pulled himself up onto the counter, leaning his palms on the edge. Kate wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come to her, so instead she got undressed and turned the water on.

In the silence, she had plenty of time to remember his affection, the love pouring out of him, and yet now there seemed a hesitance to let it continue. There was a wall between them, and it encouraged her self-doubt. She ducked her head underneath the water, and every time she closed her eyes, it was either Amaru or Seth. She had to think about one or the other, and even with one just outside, she couldn’t start conversation. She’d make the excuse that she was focused on getting clean, but as much as that was one reason, she also wasn’t sure what to say to him. Maybe he hadn’t meant the thing he’d said before, or maybe she’d interpreted it completely wrong.

Stuck in her head, she almost opened the curtain without thinking. Quickly pulling it around her body, she held her hand out for a towel. Snapping out of his own trance, apparently, it took a moment for Seth to come to, handing one to her and taking steps towards the door. “Richie got you some clothes.”

“Alright.” She nodded.

Drying herself quickly, she opened the door to find Seth just waiting for her, holding them out. She smiled briefly and took them.

Without much conversation, she was only getting more and more anxious, and as she brushed her hair and looked in the mirror, she fought not to imagine _her._ She could hear what she’d say, thinking her foolish to be stuck on this notion of him thinking of her not as a little girl taken advantage of.

When she was done, he led her into some sort of pseudo living room and office where Richie and Scott seemed to be waiting, and she smiled, making a beeline for her brother. She could focus on him, to get her mind off the unwavering thoughts pouring into her mind, the self-doubt overwhelmingly strong.

-

It took only a few more hours before Kate found herself alone in a room with Seth again. Someone had gotten rid of her old things, she’d found that out when she’d stepped into the room she now knew to be his. It was big, and lacking much furniture, but she supposed he didn’t have much reason to keep endless amounts of possessions when this place doubled as their operations headquarters. Richie had given a somewhat detailed explanation of the last six months or so from the other side of their divide. It was quite the story.

Catching him in the middle of something, he dropped what he was doing for a moment and then picked it back up again as she shut the door behind her. Taking a few steps into the room, when she realised he wasn’t going to say something, she did it instead.

“I feel like all I can do is keep apologising to everyone.” It wasn’t long until she was beside him, looking down at whatever he was looking at. Some books, she didn’t bother trying to nail down the details.

“I noticed.” She twisted her mouth, wondering if all of their conversations would be so short. “I feel like I should be doing the same for you.”

“For what?”

“You know what.” He looked at her now, no longer pretending to read. A palm lay flat against the table. “I didn’t blame you, when I thought it was you.”

“It wasn’t me.”

“I know, I just wanted you to know.” Seth nodded, balling the hand up into a fist as he took a breath, looking away from her. He was always looking away. Kate resisted the urge to turn his head, instead focusing on what he had said. The idea of her being so mad at the men she loved that she would willingly do what she’d done, it was almost laughable – but it was also hurtful. Wasn’t she once some beacon of light? Kate Fuller, preacher’s daughter who wore a cross around her neck even when she saw things that tested her faith.

“You think abandoning me is enough to make me want to sic demons on you and Richie?” There was hurt in her voice, but he didn’t seem to notice, staring straight ahead.

“Yeah.”

Turning back to her, he caught the tears in her eyes and visibly clenched his jaw, instinctively leaning towards her.

“Seth, I’m _not_ that vengeful.” Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest.

Hesitating for only a moment, all it took was a raise of her eyebrows for him to speak, taking a few steps back as he packed up the things he had previously been paying so much attention to. “After you went all bitter last words on Richie and Scott, I kind of assumed the hell thing went for all of us.”

“It did. I mean… I was mad, of course I was. It was like all I could do was give and you all took until I was lying there… Dead with nothing to show for it. And it mattered so much to me because I loved you.” She paused. “All of you. But I only had that hatred up until a point. Until I had more things to worry about than some assholes letting me down.”

“I wish I hadn’t of....”

“No you don’t.”

That seemed to stir something in him, and he reached for a strand of her hair, still a deep shade of red. Seeing that hair between his fingers made her frown.

“I thought you’d be safer. I didn’t think you’d end up fucking dead.” He explained, dropping it to place his hand on her shoulder.

Reaching for his hand, she placed hers over it and looked up at him, moving her head so their gazes met. “Seth, the past is done. It’s all done. I’d rather talk about Amaru than talk about how bad you feel about that night.”

“I’m being an asshole again, huh?” He chuckled, dropping his hand, much to her dismay.

“A little.” The smile she wore was a glimpse at that girl he’d seen once.

Stuck there in that limbo between what had come and what would come next, they were still teetering on that line. Surely it shouldn’t be so hard, and yet it was with them, with this. Both seemed to be hesitant despite the circumstances. She had been _dead_. They had almost lost their chance once before, and maybe Seth’s unwillingness was again some sort of attempt at protection, but there was nothing to protect her from. The way she saw it, she’d already seen death. Before she felt that again, she wanted to take all the things she’d been hesitant about. She didn’t want to come to her grave with regrets once more.

Seth’s protectiveness would have to suffer, because she didn’t just want this. She needed it.

“You know when I asked you to stay with me before, when I showered?” His hand was between hers, and she toyed with it. He looked conflicted.

“Uh-huh.” She was going to make him look at her.

“Did you think I was asking you to come in with me?” Once Kate had said it, he turned his head once more, tipping it back as he stared her down, eyes dark with something she couldn’t exactly place. She pushed it. She might as well. “Would you have done it?”

“Sweetheart, you’re going down a dangerous path.” The warning doesn’t stop her, although she was hardly going in for any kill. He had taken the first step. He had saved her and held her and let her sleep in his god damn bed. He had agreed to her company that day in front of the place that took their brothers from them. Reunited again, the circumstances were so different now.

“That a yes?” There wasn’t much space between them, but she tried to close it for the most part.

“You about to put on heart-shaped sunglasses?” Seth was mocking her, but there was something in the way he smiled that didn’t make her cower in embarrassment.

“That’s not even close to what we are and you know it.” Kate was no child, especially not anymore. She got in his personal space and he took slow steps back. She followed. Of all the girls he’d looked at, he hadn’t quite looked at any like this. Attraction and something deeper mingled in his dark gaze and she met it steadily, her own eyes sparkling with excitement for the first time since she became herself again.

They were walking now, his back towards the bed. He wasn’t slick. “Is this you trying to define it?”

“Is this you trying to avoid it?”

The backs of his legs hit the surface and he paused, Kate took the opportunity to close the space between them, leaning up on her toes. He didn’t kiss her yet, pressing his forehead down to hers gently as he closed his eyes and breathed her in. Bringing a hand to his neck, she swore he shivered at her cold hand against him.

When their lips finally met, Kate could have passed out right then and there.

She had always wondered what it was like to have Seth’s hand tangled in her hair, pulling her closer as their mouths moved together. Seeing stars, seeing white, obsessed with finally getting something she wanted, she kissed him more ferociously than she should. It meant everything. Apparently it fuelled him too, because his hand dropped to pull up the hem of her skirt, hand trailing along the skin of her thigh.

Heavy breath left her mouth as he trailed his lips down to her neck and she placed her hand over his. Taking it as a sign to stop, he went to move it away, but she stopped him and pushed it back, this time further up.

“Please.” She mumbled.

It almost knocked the breath out of her, when he lifted her up to turn and put her down on the bed. She shuffled back as he moved towards her, and the desperation in her face didn’t go ignored, he reached for her leg, bringing her to him as his hand wandered up her skirt to slide over the waistband of her panties.

“You sure this is what you want?”

Leave it to Seth to still be trying to give her a way out while he’s ready to get between her legs.

“ _Yes._ ” She hissed it out and he laughed at her.

The amusement lasted a moment as he used both hand to pull her underwear down her legs. Leaning down, he hooked her legs around his arms and moved her forward. She squeaked. Pushing the skirt up, she realised she was wholly unprepared for this. Lack of experience hadn’t mattered when it was a thought in her mind, but this was real. This was concrete. This was Seth pressing kisses to the insides of her thighs and then gently scraping his teeth over the pale skin. She shivered and watched, propped up on her elbows as he made his way down, switching sides the moment her breathing got a little heavier.

When he finally put his mouth on her, she still felt like her whole body was on fire. He was _good_ with his mouth. She wouldn’t have expected him to be so gentle, even with her, but for her first time being eaten out by Seth Gecko, she appreciated it.

His tongue was slow, exploring her folds and her elbows dropped at some point, leaving her to stare at the ceiling when she wasn’t shutting her eyes from how overwhelmed he had her. She tried not to be too loud, worried about being heard by whoever happened to be around – culebras had good hearing, right? She couldn’t remember and it didn’t fucking matter.

“Seth…” She whimpered his name and he took it only as encouragement, bringing a finger up to push into her. The noises that began to leave her mouth were completely involuntary, and she didn’t care. If it was always going to feel like this, she wanted it forever. She couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else. Sensitive and new to this, every moment felt like it was building to her _actually_ passing out. “More… More.”

Seth took her encouragement and ran with it, focusing his attention on her clit as he picked up the pace of his finger inside her. As the moment built up and up, she could no longer keep control of her hips. She didn’t know how long they’d been there like that, but eventually she was repeating his name over and over, coming to the edge. He didn’t remove his mouth after she came the first time, or even the second time, but she had to reach for him, to stop him before she couldn’t take it any longer.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he moved up to hover over her. Pressing kisses to her forehead, and then down to her nose, she smiled contentedly.

With his body pressed against hers, she breathed out, opening her eyes. “You’re hard.” She said it like she was sad, and maybe she was a little. If she wasn’t so tired, she would have already tried to undo his pants.

“We don’t have to do it all in one night, kid.” He told her, pushing her hair out of her face. This thumb ran over her cheek gently.

She frowned. “You don’t want me to.”

“You’re exhausted.”

The reminder didn’t get her to shut up about it quite yet, although she was more than ready to fall asleep, as long as he stayed there next to her.

“I could still try.”

He laughed, his face close to hers, forgetting about trying to kiss her. “I promise you, we’ll get to it.”

She fell asleep like that, with him there beside her after her brought a sheet up to her chest. He answered her questions about what things had been like – the things that Richie didn’t know. Her heart yearned to be able to fix every little thing between them in that moment, but they could only repair one thread at a time, and she had to accept that. Seth being openly affectionate with her, it was different, but it was good.

-

The next morning, she still woke up with nightmares, but once she settled down, the two of them walked in a dreamy state, enamoured with each other. Richie and Scott had clearly already caught on, and it made Kate’s cheeks burn, but Seth just wrapped an arm around her waist.

Her brother didn’t seem all that impressed, but he promised he’d come around to bother them and judge her life choices every now and then. She promised to come see his band play sometime.

When it was just them and Richie, he looked between them with an expression she couldn’t quite pin down and asked twenty questions. “So, no kidding about the Mexican honeymoon thing, huh?”

“Shut up, Richard.” This time Kate said it, and Seth pursed his lips, amused at it.

Richie pointed between them. “I don’t like what you’re teaching her.”

Kate rolled her eyes and leaned into the elder brother, who spoke instead. “I think she learned that one all by herself.”

It was strange, to realise that she could be content there with the two of them. She could be content with this life as her second chance. With Seth holding her hand. It was sappy, and stupid, but it felt like the love she poured out was finally being returned. After all that time, all the pain and hurt, the walking in and out of her life, the people who had made it hell had worked to save her from something worse than all of that. At least until their lives turned upside down again, she would love every moment of it.


End file.
